“Oh! What a cute little angel… she looks just like you.”
“Oh
my God… she’s got such lovely long fingers! She’s gonna be an artist haan.”
“Just wait till she grows up; she’s going to make you’ll dance to her tunes!”
And a lot more similar banter is what the New Indian Mom faces right from the
first day of her motherhood. Along with these, the New Indian Mom also faces an
entire encyclopaedia of random advices and queries: “Do you get those motherly
feelings for your little one?” “Tumhe doodh toh barabar aa raha hai na?” “Now
your life is going to change… a complete 360 degree turn it will make” “Your
priority will now be your child and no one else” “You should avoid going out now”
“Put a kala tika to your little one, taaki nazar na lage!” “Name your little
one from the raashi only”… and so it goes on!
In all this, no one really cares of what the dreams of this
New Indian Mom are... What does she want, what are her aspirations, what are
her dreams! Frankly, it’s not necessary that her dreams are about her new born
baby! They can actually be quite bizarre.
There was information that the Himalayan Mountain was going
to be covered in lava. Exactly! The sparkling snowcapped mountains were going to
experience volcanic activity. And I was chosen by National Geographic Channel
to report the details of this volcanic mountain and its surrounding area. So
the cameraman and I headed for the Himalayas in a helicopter. Just before the start,
we entered an underground parking area from where I collected food packets for our
trip, and even managed saving a dog from an accident with the chopper. In the
topsy-turvy journey, we saw it! Yes! It was a snow-white mountain. From its
peak, gushed out smoke and flaming yellow-orange lava. The lava was settling on
the White Mountain, making patches of carbon black… and slowly, we had a completely
black mountain amongst the entire crystal white Himalayas.
Yes, that was the first dream which I had and then I woke up
from the anaesthesia. Yes, I did not dream of my new born child. I did not dream
of me becoming a mother. I did not dream of parenthood.
We need to stop stereotyping pregnancy, motherhood and parenthood and stop pressurising this New Indian Mom with various dos and donts. When we have kids, we still have a life of our own. Live it well so
that you don’t repent later on what all you missed. So that you don’t feel you sacrificed
your life to your kids. So that you don’t feel you wasted your life in doing the
mundane. And also so that you can take better care of your kids and family.
